Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
