Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
