11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Couch. On fire.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
