I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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