we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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