I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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