wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize