It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
