I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize