I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm bleeding and have questions
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
