I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
