He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize