you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
