are you still at the devil's house?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
