apparently the secret to your success is patron
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
