he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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