Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
