I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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