oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
