Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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