Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize