i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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