I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
