Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize