OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
