omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
