Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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