I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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