I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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