That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize