it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My penis needs a shock collar
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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