you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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