yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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