Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
