I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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