Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
