I am puke
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
