it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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