Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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