Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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