why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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