Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I will die if light touches me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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