I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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