My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
