just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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