If that was your dad, he is hot
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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