After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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