what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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