1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
