If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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