so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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