I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
