You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
