To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im drinking this country out of the recession.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
NoShamevember. You game?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
