Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
