Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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