it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
