you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
